Legolas in the closet?
by Amarie4
Summary: A story about Legolas ...Princess ..., I mean Prince of Mirkwood and his journey across Middle Earth


Disclaimer: Characters are obviously created by J.R.R. Tolkien if you didn't already know that.  
  
Author's Note: Ummm...yes.another LOTR story. I wrote this just for the hell of it inspired by some interesting friends. Hehehe. I suck at writing!  
  
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Chapter One: Legolas' Journey Begins..  
  
Middle Earth.a peaceful world...or so we think....  
  
"DAAAAAAAAAADD!!!!!" Legolas screamed from the top of his lungs in his high squeaky voice. "DAD! How could you do this to me??! I don't want to go on that stupid journey to destroy a RING when I could just wear the stupid thing and make me look pretty!!"  
  
Thranduil sighed. "Son..there comes a time in every Prince's life when they have to make sacrifices...Ummmm..What did I say you had to do again??" "ARGH!! NEVERMIND!!" Legolas runs off to leave for his journey.  
  
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5 Days Later...  
  
5 whole days! Legolas though 5 whole days of nonstop riding to join some stupid journey Legolas was heading to Rivendell to meet with the Council of Elrond for a quest that Thranduil, his father had forced him to go on when he was so drunk that he passed out right after his request.  
  
I'm already missing home Legolas thought And my family Legolas continued except for dad because I'm still pissed at him...and the hot guys.I mean chicks! Legolas quickly corrected himself.  
  
Yes I definitely miss the sexy gu.girls..and...my dog. Legolas keeps riding.  
  
"Damn! I forgot! I missed my hair and nail appointment! I need a serious manicure and some of that yummy magical stuff that makes my hair look all soft and puurty.and manly?.oh well" Legolas continues riding.  
  
After riding some time, Legolas got bored. "Man I haven't been on a computer for a while! I need to check my mail!  
  
"The first thing I'm gonna do when I get to Rivendell is find some sort of Internet café to go online." (Yes unfortunately Lagolas is an internet addict like most of us.I won't start pointing fingers)  
  
Finally he decided to do something that his family usually does when they're bored or just for the hell of it..they drink! They like to drink endlessly until they get drunk or pass out.  
  
Elves are very tough so it takes a very, very large amount of alcohol for them to finally get drunk.  
  
Unfortunately Legolas has a low tolerance for alcohol and it only takes him a few sips of alcohol for him to get drunk and a few more to pass out.  
  
He usually doesn't like to tell people because it causes lots of teasing especially from the other male elves.  
  
Of course Legolas forgot about his problem that after drinking 2 sips he becomes very dizzy and starts seeing things.  
  
"Ooooh..the puurty colors!..wheeee..! I'm fflying!...wheee...puurty horsey!.." Legolas then spotted a mysterious rider (named Aragorn, but Legolas doesn't know that yet) galloping not so far away, going in the same direction. "Ooooh...who's that?"  
  
"He's hot..shee.e..I think..I'll follow him..whee!" As the rider rode faster, Legolas also tried speeded up.  
  
"Must not lose him!...wheee..t..this is fuuuun!" Legolas screamed. It got pretty hard for Legolas to keep his eyes on this rider that he forgot to pay attention to where he was going that he ran into a large tree which knocked him out cold.  
  
There he lay on the ground, unconscious for the rest of the day until the next morning.  
  
The next morning, Legolas woke up with a hangover...and it took him an hour to finally continue his journey to his destination. Finally after an hour of riding, Rivendell came to view.  
  
"Yay!!" Legolas yelled leaping with joy. Legolas forgot he was riding his horse due to one of the side effects of his hangover, that (in slow motion) he leaped in the air and fell on the ground flat on his face.  
  
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Gates of Rivendell (at exactly the same time)  
  
Elf guard #1: "HAHAHA did ya see that?!.who is that??"  
  
Elf guard #2: "I dunno.wait.*looks through an elvish telescope of some sort*.I think it's the Prince of Mirkwood.wow! He got hot!"  
  
Elf guard #1: "Really?? Let me see!!.ooh you're right!"  
  
Elf guard #2: "Hey! I saw him first!"  
  
Elf guard #1: "Nooo!.lier!.wait! aren't you married?"  
  
Elf guard #2: "Shut up!"  
  
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Back to Legolas  
  
"Aww Damn!" Legolas wailed. "I'm dirty again! grr.I need to be clean.wait! That gives me time to put on that yummy purfu.cologne that all the.women go crazy for!"  
  
Legolas sprays massive amounts of cologne before chasing after his horse to the gates of Rivendell where it had stopped.  
  
"Stupid, stupid horse!" Legolas strenuously got back on his horse and fixed his hair before entering Rivendell.  
  
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Entering Rivendell:  
  
"The Prince of Mirkwood has arrived!" yelled a guard. As Legolas passed, he thought he saw the guard wink at him. Oooh.yay! I knew I looked hot.I mean.ewww! How wrong! Thought Legolas.  
  
Legolas stumbled off his horse when he finally got off. *He looks around* Must act like I missed Rivendell Legolas thought. I heard there were some cute hotties here.I wonder where they are? *Legolas looks around some more*  
  
Finally Legolas spotted Arwen, his childhood friend who used to do manicures to each other and braid each others hair long long ago. She was with a man he had never met before but looked very familiar.  
  
Where have I seen that hottie.I mean.dude before?? Legolas wondered.  
  
"Oh My Gawd!! Legolas?! Is that you?? Hiiiiiiii!!" Arwen screamed as she came running to greet him trampling some little people on her way.  
  
Legolas, of course, got excited. "Arwen! Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi!"  
  
"Like Oh my Gawd Legolas! How have you been? How was your trip?"  
  
"I've been good..my trip.I don't wanna talk about it..I don't remember half of it.I don't know, it was weird" Legolas responded "Why, what happened" asked Arwen.  
  
"Well first of all I got dirty so many times and clean myself every time. Do you know how hard it is to stay nice and fresh?" Legolas complained. "Oh that's terrible!" Arwen said in shock.  
  
"And then I was on my way here when I saw some mysterious rider with a pretty dark cloak and dark hair not as long as mine though going in the same direction.  
  
He was really really HOT! I tried following him but he escaped. You know how hard it is to get some hot girls these days?!"  
  
Legolas goes on about not yet knowing who it was. "Guy or Girl?? Legolas your confusing me!  
  
"I'M NOT GAY!!!!!" Legolas screamed.  
  
"I didn't say that!! I'm sorry, you confused me. You're talking too fast..But it does sound a lot like my new boyfriend!"  
  
"Boyfriend??" Legolas repeated raising one eyebrow. "You have to meet him! Aragorn Son of Arathorn!"  
  
*Aragorn steps from behind Arwen and smiles at Legolas* Legolas' eyes open widely and and vaguely remembers who he was.  
  
"You're that dark rider from the woods yesterday!.I think.HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?!  
  
"WHAT THE FUCK??" Arwen screamed. "I saw him first!" Legolas screamed almost in tears. "No you didn't!!" Arwen shouted back.  
  
All of the sudden Legolas and Arwen start a cat fight right in front of Aragorn. Then Legolas runs away hysterically crying not wanting Aragorn to see that he was being beaten up by a girl. Must find INTERNET!!!!!!  
  
"Legolas! Come back! It's not what it seems!" Aragon yelled back. *Arwen slaps Aragorn in the head* "What the Hell are you talking about you idiot!?" Aragorn shocked at his response leaves Arwen standing all by herself.  
  
"Where are you going Aragorn?" Arwen asked sweetly. "To Find a Damn Computer!!! I need to check my MAIL!!!! Aragorn stomps off. 


End file.
